Updates and News - Random ramblings

Sponsor Appreciation Series, Volume 2

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 14:29:42 -0700

Up next in my sponsor appreciation series is Steve Harad of Kestrel Bicycles. Anyone who knows Steve knows he is passionate about the sport of triathlon, and loves to make fast bikes!

I have been with Kestrel for 2 years now, and I simply love the bike. I'll admit, with the release of the new Kestrel 4000, I was a little reluctant. I'd gotten to know my Airfoil pretty darn well and loved the fact that it didn't have a seat tube. The fact that they'd added one to the 4000 bummed me out; to me the missing piece is what made a Kestrel a Kestrel. Now having had some time to get to know the new 4000? All I can say is that in this case? More is better. The 4000 feels much more responsive to me, and most importantly, it fits better! (Plus it's super cool looking, but if I say that first, I seem shallow.....but it is super cool looking!!)

So please allow me to introduce to you, Steve Harad and Kestrel Bicycles:

http://www.kestrelbicycles.com/

1) Tell us a little bit about Kestrel bikes. When and by whom was Kestrel founded? What was the first frame? And what does ‘Kestrel’ mean?

Kestrel was founded in 1987 by a couple of guys who were really smart! The company first produced the Kestrel 4000 and we continue the heritage today. The Kestrel is a wicked fast bird that is well respected in the bird world that the other birds are admire and strive to be one day.

2) Kestrel is now owned by Advanced Sports. When and how did that come to be and how does Kestrel fit into the Advanced Sports family?

Kestrel was purchased by Advanced Sports International in 2007. Kestrel has been on an up and down over the years and we purchased it to rebuild it back to the premier brand it once was. Kestrel supports the ASI other brands as a high end boutique brand that works only with carbon fiber. It also is the first brand we work with that is sold both in stores and online.

3) With the new Kestrel 4000, you now have a UCI legal time trial bike. Was that the motivation behind the design of the bike? Is the hope that, with the Kestrel 4000 in your arsenal of bikes that Kestrel will have a bigger presence in pro cycling? And one day sponsor a tour team??

You nailed it. We want to expand into pro cycling and with our line of bikes we had, we couldn’t do that. I’m also a wind tunnel nut and wanted to design a bike that was faster than our Kestrel Airfoil. What the 4000 represents is the latest technology Kestrel has to offer for the Triathlete as well as conforms to the UCI regulations. We are fortunate that our sister company Fuji let us test the Kestrel 4000 out with the Footon Servetto team.

4) As Kestrel Brand Manager, you are the face of Kestrel bikes. How did you end up at Kestrel? What did you do prior to working for Kestrel?

Scary that I’m the face of Kestrel. I have more of a radio face  But seriously, I’ve been in the cycling industry since I was 14 when I started racing bikes. I’ve used to own Steve’s Multisport, one of the first Triathlon stores in the USA, and was the founder of Elite Bicycles. I sold both businesses and set out to get a “real” job. After 3 weeks, I realized that wasn’t what I wanted to do. I joined ASI 5 years ago and when we purchased Kestrel, I took over managing the brand. It’s the coolest job making wicked fast bikes. I travel all over the world, visit wind tunnels, meet really cool athletes like yourself, and really enjoy what I do.

5) What are your hobbies outside of your obvious passion for cycling?

Outside of work? You mean after the 70 hours I typically put in at work? I spend most of my free time with my son Jesse. He’s my rock star! Other than that, I really enjoy long walks on the beach, sunsets, cute girls  Oh, and I’m single so feel free to find me a date.

6) What is your favorite Kestrel bike and why?

Has to be the 4000 although the new RT1000 that I will show in a few weeks is right up there. These are the first 2 bikes I had total control over and designed with my team. The 4000 has a year and a half of my time invested in it, lots of trips to the A2 Wind Tunnel so IF I had to pick one, that would be the bike.

7) What differentiates Kestrel from all the other tri bikes on the market these days?

There are a lot of tri bikes out there and I think everyone is doing a good job. Kestrel is pushing the technology barrier and really spending time balancing product with aerodynamics and Fit. Fit is so important and I think some companies overlook that aspect of building a bike. Plus there’s me. I still am the guy talking with customers, answering emails, traveling to races to meet Kestrel customers. I think having someone you can call about anything Kestrel is very important!

The release of the Kestrel 4000 has been a much anticipated and exciting step for the brand. What’s next for Kestrel??

Well, the RT1000 is coming out soon. We are pushing hard into the road market with some very cool designed bikes for 2011. I’m already working on 2012 and Kestrel will be expanding into some new categories. We are also working with some new carbon technology that will be completely unique to Kestrel that we will have ready in 2012. Other than product, we are expanding my travel so I can visit more Kestrel dealers, athletes and expos. I am really looking to visit as many places as I can to keep in touch with the end user of Kestrel.

9) Who is your favorite pro triathlete? …..meaning your favorite female pro triathlete? ….I mean, your favorite female pro triathlete from New England……who rides a Kestrel…..and is currently under the age of 40? DO I NEED TO MAP IT OUT FOR YOU ANY CLEARER??

Hmm, Smyers? You had me at “you really need to sponsor me” when we met in HI 2 years ago. I figured if you had the guts to be direct with asking, you definitely were worth sponsoring. Plus, your husband is cool so IF I ever get sick of you, I can always hang with Dave and your dog

My Thoughts on the WTC Pro Rules, Volume 2

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 14:07:37 -0700

Well, the 8% and 5% rules were short lived. WTC has recently come out with some amendments to those rules; though no really amendments as they look nothing like the originals. As always, the new rules are not without controversy.

Fortunately, WTC solicited feedback. Whether they listen, truly, or not, is to be determined. I certainly hope they do.

Here is what I had to say to WTC. Feel free to comment. The only way these rules will be good and lasting is if they are well thought thru, and thoroughly debated.

Hello,
I am emailing to offer my feedback on the new, proposed WTC policies with respect to qualification for Kona and Clearwater, and on other corresponding policies.
Let me start by saying that I applaud WTC for giving the professionals the opportunity to comment on the rules that will shape the future of our sport. I realize that WTC is under no obligation to open these proposals up for comment, but as a professional who has significantly altered her professional life in dedication to this sport, I appreciate the opportunity to provide input and I truly hope WTC listens to some of the concerns as well as some of the applause.
I like the ranking system. I like it better than the existing 5% and 8% rules. I think it allows for athletes to earn their place in the World Championships by demonstrating great performance; not just on one day, but all year long.
That said, I do have some concerns with the proposed plan.

• Weighting of points – I don’t think the points reward outstanding performance aptly. I think an Ironman win in ANY scenario is worth more points than the current proposal awards. I think a top-10 finish in Kona is worthy of a heavier weighting as well. I think it’s stunning that a 10th place finish in the world is worth only 200 points more than a 10th place finish in a “Championship” Ironman. Take, for example, this weekend’s IM-Frankfurt “European Championship”. 14 women entered. I think it’s a gross injustice that the 10th place finisher there is awarded only 200 points fewer than the 10th place finisher in our World Championship will be awarded. While still a Championship race, it is simply not of the same caliber (quality or quantity) field as the World Championship. The athletes in the top 10 in Kona have bested the rest of the world on what each athlete targets as his or her best day of that year. I think those performances need greater recognition.

• Ironman points vs 70.3 points – I realize that many of us who are more “Ironman specialists” still race 70.3 races frequently, however, I think that the current points comparison between 70.3 points and full Ironman points rewards the 70.3 athlete more than the Ironman athlete. You simply earn too many points for 70.3 performances that contribute to qualification for a full Ironman World Championship. This is qualification for an Ironman, and as such, I think the Ironman points contributions should be much greater than the 70.3 points contributions; not necessarily in terms of the number of 70.3 races that can contribute to the points total, but to the points that are awarded at 70.3 races. I think that the math should be calculated such that a top-10 finish in Kona coupled with a top 2 or 3 finish in an in-season Ironman ought to be enough to get an athlete to Kona. I think that athlete is more deserving than an athlete who perhaps, even wins 3 70.3 races. It appears from the new policies that Ironman points don’t even contribute to an athlete qualifying for Clearwater, so why should the 70.3 points have such a heavy weighting in an athlete qualifying for Kona? I also think that any Ironman win ought to be sufficient qualification for Kona, regardless of the “Championship”, “$75,000” or “$25,000” designation.

• Tiered Ironmans – I don’t understand this one at all. A $25,000 Ironman? Really? I think that prize purse is far too low for the effort that goes into an Ironman. ANY Ironman. I think that by categorizing these events as such, you will lose quality fields at $25,000 Ironman races. I think it’s also tragic that athletes who have built a loyalty to a “potential” $25,000 Ironman (Bella Bayliss to IM-South Africa, Belinda Granger to IM-Malaysia, myself to IM-Brazil); those loyalties speak to the strength of the race, it’s fans, it’s organizers and the entire community where Ironman’s are held. By banishing Ironman races to the $25,000 category, those loyalties will be lost. It simply isn’t worth the expense of travel, and the few dollars in prize money, and points. For relationships like that to be lost, I think would be tragic and, in the long run, would hurt the “smaller” Ironman races.

• Clarity of process – I think for this points system to work, it is essential that the rankings are made public, are updated accurately (the points example in the email that was distributed had mathematical errors in it – clearly in a “real world” scenario, such mathematical errors would be unacceptable) each weekend following every competition and furthermore, that WTC go back to publicizing pro start lists in advance. This gives every athlete a fair and equal shake at knowing where they stand, who their immediate points competition is and where they are racing. It could lead to some amazing late season head to head points competitions amongst athletes who are “on the bubble”. If I may, transparency has not been one of WTC’s strengths, to date. So I implore you to make this process as open and transparent as possible. It will ensure a “fair fight” for points.

• Timing – September 1 is simply too late a deadline to allow the professionals adequate time to prepare physically or logistically. Lodging in Kona is difficult to come by. If, as a pro, you don’t know if you are competing or not until 9/1, the logistics of planning a trip are virtually impossible. Trip insurance on a plane ticket and rental car is one thing, but with lodging, many rentals are arranged with individual owners. There is no way to recoup that expense, should an athlete be left out, nor is there any way to find reasonable lodging one month before the competition date. I think the points cutoff ought to be made earlier. Either that, or guarantee that the top 25 by July 1 are guaranteed their slot, and the remaining qualifiers will battle it out until September 1. Either that, or shift the entire calendar to a July 1 to July 1 points basis. These potential solutions clearly have shortcomings as well, but I just don’t think it is reasonable for an athlete to not know if they are competing in a World Championship until a month before hand. The preparation that goes into such an effort from a training and psychological perspective, not to mention a logistical perspective cannot be discounted.

• Wild Card – This policy irks me. What all these policies are doing is holding professionals to a higher standard. I think, for the most part, the professional applaud that. Yet simultaneously, WTC has the right to hand pick an athlete who is not to be held to that same standard? Rubbish! Giving an athlete an exemption due to injury, illness or other life tragedy, or even to pregnancy; there is precedent for that. Yet the policy specifically says that the Wild Card is NOT for that purpose. It seems arbitrary, and inequitable. If a higher standard is what WTC asks of its pros, then it should be asked of ALL of its pros. Save your Wild Card for the age group ranks. Invite whomever you like to race in the age group. Let the pros who have equally earned their right to compete, compete.

• 3 year exemption – This policy impacts so few people, it seems silly to mention it, but I feel compelled to anyway. Ironman World Champions are special. And I think they ought to be treated as such. Mandating former World Champions to the Age Group ranks eliminates the opportunity for athletes like Michellie Jones, Karen Smyers and Natasha Badmann from toeing the line in Kona. They cannot compete as age groupers as they are registered pros. Yet their invitation to race as pros is no longer valid. These athletes may have lost their “marketability” to WTC as champions who are past their prime, but to the current athletes who have been inspired by these champions, I believe that having these athletes continue to race in the pro ranks, if they so choose, adds value to the race. Retired former Champions? Sure – they can race with the age groupers if they like. But for current card carrying professionals, they have earned that right to compete amongst the pros regardless of whether they won last year, 5 years ago or 10 years ago. Former champions deserve a spot amongst the pros, if they choose, and should NOT be included in the 50/30 count.

• Logistics – what happens in the event of a rankings tie?

• Logistics - When will races be categorized into the breakdown of Championship vs $75,000 vs $25,000. And how do new races get categorized. Does every IM start as a $25,000 and hopefully grow up to be a $75,000? I think, honestly, there should be WC races, Championship races and the rest are equal. That seems more fair to me, but if not, when will those distinctions be made and how does a race change category?

• Logistics – 50/30 division – how were these ratios determined? How will they change with time?

• Drug testing – The top 20 in world rankings ought to automatically be included in the WTC out of competition testing pool.

• Growth in popularity of the sport – these rules limit an athletes ability to race in races outside of WTC races. I think that’s tragic and will ultimately stifle the growth in the sport. These new race series aren’t competitors to WTC races….WTC is clearly the big fish, but it’s a big ocean and there is plenty of room for other series offering not competing races, but alternative races. These policies don’t allow for professionals to race in other series and that is unfortunate, and ultimately will not enhance the growth in our sport.

In short, I like the points system, but I think it needs to be re-calculated to put the emphasis in the proper places. I also think that in order for these new rules to work; truly work, this process needs to be thoughtful and deliberate, not rushed. It seems that the reason WTC is reworking the 5% and 8% rule is that 1) in retrospect, they may not have produced the results WTC had hoped and 2) they were tremendously unpopular. In an effort to develop a set of rules that work, have athlete and sponsor support, and will correctly produce the result that WTC desires, I beg you to take the time to shape these rules properly. I realize WTC is under no obligation to hear any of this input. I know for certain that the pros appreciate this opportunity to make comment. Current athlete and input on whatever committee decides these issues would be a HUGE step toward a process where everyone wins.

Thank you for the opportunity to express my thoughts.
Dede Griesbauer

Starting Over

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 06:19:19 -0700

Where does it all go? All that juicy fitness I busted my butt from November to May to build? One Ironman race. One easy recovery week of about 5-6 hours of training. And suddenly I don’t even feel like an athlete anymore.

Shameful.

Depressing.

Reality.

So after my week “off”, I’ve gotten back to work. The first week? OK, I could laugh it off as easy as the next guy; extraordinary case of squat-ass (now an honest to goodness medical condition, thanks to Kevin Burns….I knew you were on my side!), Z1 paces that were off the charts (and not the right end of the chart), Z1 wattage that couldn’t fuel a pen light……sure, it’s easy to laugh. …..for the first week.

Now into the second week, and I am starting to feel like the joke is on me. Though there are signs of hope.

Last week, I went out for a 35’ ZR run. ZR is really easy. “Stupid easy” as my coach calls it. My max HR for ZR is sometimes achieved just standing up from the couch, so you get my drift on how slow ZR is on most days. Anyway, last week, I said to DaveyG, “Hey, I am doing an easy run. Wanna come?”

DaveyG and I don’t often get to train together, so with me just coming back from an Ironman and DaveyG getting his legs back under him after a couple months of not being able to train, it was a perfect opportunity for both of us to suck together.

We set out, and before I knew it, “Sorry, babe. I have to slow down. Too fast.” So we slowed down. 30 seconds later, “Sorry…..still to fast.”

This continued for the first 20’ of the run. I kept looking at my HR. “Crap, too fast”. Slow down. “Crap, too fast.” Slow down.

I actually started feeling bad for Dave. Could we run ANY slower? I kept apologizing for how slow I had to run. DaveyG, as always, so supportive. “You have to start somewhere. This really isn’t that slow,” he said, as a woman in a business suit and 3 inch heals walked buy us, while talking on her cell phone. And sipping a non-fat, no whip, soy latte.

This week, DaveyG came with me again. Same drill. 35 minute run. Zone R. About 12 minutes in, we actually PASSED someone! (and exchanged a celebratory fist bump). In all, 4 people passed during our ZR run last night! 4!!!! AND, we averaged 1:03 per MILE faster than a week ago, at the same HR.

So no; don’t think I’ll be busting out a sub 4:00 mile any time soon, but hey, it’s progress and we all gotta start (back) somewhere!

Some new toys added to my stock this week!

Brand new, GORGEOUS Kestrel 4000. (kiss, kiss). LOVE this bike. Feels great, handles better, fits best ever. And let’s face it…..it’s hot!

Then, because my life isn’t filled with enough torture, Coach Jesse “suggested” these: Power Cranks. Imagine the hours of torture, the 4-letter expletives, the paralyzed hip flexor muscles. I had my first ride on them just this morning….you know….to see how long I could make it. Didn’t bother putting bike shorts on. Didn’t figure I’d be riding that long. Yep. 5 minutes, 22 seconds. I know. I’m a rock star.

So yeah, the weeks of post-Ironman aren’t the most satisfying, the most confidence instilling, the most impressive displays of athleticism. Still, when DaveyG sits down to a steak dinner, and I get to look over at this face…..I know, there’s no place like home and it’s good to be back home and into the swing of things.

Brazil, The Aftermath. Back to Square One

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 05:18:55 -0700

So I made it home from Brazil. Sounds simple enough. All you gotta do is sit on a plane, right?

Not when traveling with “The Travel Gods Must Hate You Griesbauer”.

Somehow my travel plans called for a 10 hour layover in the Sao Paulo airport. Clearly my travel agent (me) wasn’t thinking when I booked these tickets. Still, facing a 10 hour layover, I was armed with the most valuable asset a traveler could have; an Admiral’s Club Membership!

Prior to my trip, I’d consulted with Admiral’s Club staff (both the customer service call in center, and in person at the Miami club on my outbound flight…..I’m anal that way – like to double check EVERYthing. Not proud…..just sayin’….) Because the Admiral’s Club is on the other side of security, and because the American Airlines employees don’t get to the check-in counter until 4PM, I needed to figure out how to pass security so that I could sit in the far comfier Admiral’s Club, complete with free wireless, and more importantly, free food and drink! Both my sources confirmed; so long as I had pre-printed my boarding pass, I’d be fine to clear security and relax in relative tranquility.

Pre-printing a boarding pass seemed easy enough, but because the travel gods hate me, our hotel had no internet access the last 24 hours I was there, so I dragged my new favorite friends, Justin and Jason, to an internet café at 11:30 PM (I wasn’t real thrilled to be wandering out alone that late at night) to procure said boarding pass.

So with boarding pass in hand, I could nearly taste the delightful little finger sandwiches they serve in the Admiral’s Club. I was off the core for the week, so for once, I was anticipating getting to eat what looked good, instead of laboring over the CHO content and how eating whatever I was contemplating eating would throw my numbers for the week.

And as quickly as I could say “finger sandwich”, my plan was thwarted. The security guard looked at my boarding pass and started saying in Portuguese, “No free food and drink for you.” At least that’s what it sounded like to me.

I was turned away. I went to the AA ticket counter and was met by the most rude woman I think I have ever met in my life. I explained my situation to her and despite the huge sign in the ticket office that said “Admiral’s Club; available all day”, I was made to understand that what the sign really meant was “Available all day, but here in Brazil, “all day” means only after 4PM, so despite the fact that you've paid a hefty membership fee to utilize this service, it's a service we are going to provide you access to only sporadically, even though we've told you otherwise, so settle in, sweetheart. You are stuck in the plastic chairs, without internet access, and there’s a McDonnalds in terminal 2”.

Right then.

I was pissed. And I sent a strongly worded email to the Admiral’s Club (for which I paid nearly $10USD for internet access in an internet café). That didn’t make me feel that much better, so I wandered to McDonnalds and had a McFlurry and that helped soothe the beast a little.

I did ultimately make it home, after some 27 hours of travel. My bike arrived after some 33 hours of travel.

My “down week” which wasn’t “down” as in sad or bad, but down in terms of training which means not off, but light, was busy. Wednesday, I took a nap and did laundry. Thursday, I re-assembled my bike, did more laundry, and in general, got stuff put away. By Friday, I was on the road again; off to the Rev3 Quassy race where I’d been invited to do live commentary on the women’s pro race.

The travel gods kicked in again in Connecticut, as when I arrived, I found that I didn’t have a hotel room. “Clerical error”. I wasn’t on the list, and was told there were no rooms, when in fact, there were 9 available. While I was slightly panicked, as after calls to 6 other hotels, I was still shut out, I tried to look on the bright side; at least I could speak the language. Getting out of a travel pinch when you are fluent in the language you are trying to speak is loads easier than when you can’t speak or understand what is being spoken to you.

In the end, the travel gods took pity and I found an available room in a hotel that was a mere 3 miles from the race site. Happy day!

The Rev3 race was fun; though I learned I much prefer being a part of the action and not describing the action!
And before I knew it, it was Monday; back on the core (no more McFlurry), back to a full training load. In honor of day 1, I was greeted with 5 x 800 in the pool on Monday morning.

It’s amazing to me how quickly it feels like the fitness disappears. When a mere week before, I clobbered the swim course in Brazil with complete easy, yet during my 5 x 800 main set, I got suddenly panicky after 3, looking nervously about the pool deck for a life guard.

Day 1 got a little worse when I headed back to the gym to start our heavy lifting phase all over again. The 3rd exercise on the list? 3 x 3 chin ups. Or in my case, 1 chin up, and then the hang. Oy. A wake up call that we are firmly back at square one!

But after day 1, there is a day 2. And while day 2 has met me with a soreness from day 1, rendering me near useless, I have to laugh (well, not really, because my abs are so sore, it hurts to laugh)….we have to start somewhere! And it’s all about the journey!

The Glamorous Lifestyle of the Pro Triathlete

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Mon, 24 May 2010 12:33:29 -0700

I just sent an email to my very good friend, Karen Smyers. She was telling me about her most recent race which didn't knock her socks off, so I was trying to make her feel better by telling her about my travel experience to Brazil. After writing the email, I decided it was blog worthy.....

It's funny to me. I get, "Wow, you are a pro triathlete? That is so cool" a lot. And they are right....it is. Mostly. But like most realities, you take the good with the bad and try not to be so freaking out about it. (that last sentence will be funny later, I promise)

So this is my tale....my tale of travel.

My trip rather sucked. Though now that it's done, its all fine, which, when you think about it...most things that suck do. Oh, sure, I got an upgrade and all, so there was that. I got to sit in the "pointy end" as my friend JJ calls it. The pointy end is nice, but when you are on the Core Diet and can't drink all the alcohol you want, eat the fresh baked chocolate chip cookie, or the ice cream sundae, it's not really that spectacular. In fact, by the time they go to me to take my dinner order, my choice was gone, and all that was left was the pasta. NOT Core Diet friendly. So 2 salads, and one shrimp appetizer (literally....ONE SHRIMP) and that was my first class meal experience.

Still, I had a reasonably nice cushy seat, and managed a few winks of sleep.

Things got ugly when we landed in Sao Paulo. I got off the plane in Sao Paulo with only 90' until my connection to Florianopolis. Should have been enough time. SHOULD have. I am at the end of the ramp and we get held by some government official saying that if you aren't a Brazilian citizen, you have to wait. So they let all the Brazilians off our plane....and every other plane that landed between 5:30 and 6:15 AM (which, given the line at passport control, was quite a few). They were doing some crackdown on Brazilian counterfeit passports. Or so we were told.

So we stood in line for 30' before we were even allowed to get into the passport line. By that point, every other plane had let their non-Brazilian citizens off the plane and our plane was literally last in a very long line. I tried to tell someone that I had a tight connection. They cared so much about my sob story, that they told me (literally) "You should not be so freaking out. Just wait here." I finally found an American Airlines agent who told me not to worry. That they'd confirmed me on an 11AM flight on GOL airlines, since it seemed likely I was going to miss my 7:45 TAM flight. I started to feel better and waited in line with the 40 million other people.

I got thru passport control, managed to find my luggage which was somehow spread across 4 different corners of the baggage claim area, then had to snake thru yet another queue about 87 snakes, back and forth, back and forth....with a huge suitcase, my bike box, which while it does its job, does not have the turning radius of ....well, a dime, and a wheel bag....I was sweating bullets and had knocked over every barricade stand by the time I got to the customs guy.

Finally outside customs, I was able to get a skycap guy who spoke no English, but did speak Spanish, so I got to wow him with my 3 years of high school Spanish. No wonder he looked at me funny so many times. I probably asked him to roller-skate my refrigerator to the barn instead of help me with my luggage to the ticket office.

I got to the American Airlines ticket office and re-encountered the woman who told me not to be "freaking out so much" who told me that I was no longer confirmed on the 11 am GOL flight. She said "That just happens sometimes." I told her that "confirmed" must mean different things in Brazil than it does in America. She didn't think that was funny. Instead, she suggested I get on a city bus and go to the other airport to get on a 12:45 TAM flight because the 3:45 TAM flight was full, so that was my only hope. Of course, I thought that was hysterical....what with carrying some 200 lbs of luggage with me. I told her that I'd been mugged walking 2 blocks from a internet café to my hotel and that I thought worse things might become of me if I tried to venture on a city bus with 200 lbs of non-space efficient luggage.

She seemed to understand my predicament, and then suggested that I just spend the night in the Sao Paulo airport and try again tomorrow.

That is when I lost my sense of humor over the situation and started to be so freaking out again.

I decided to revisit the "confirmed" yet "not confirmed" issue. She told me that the GOL flight was full, but said maybe if you go and buy a ticket they will let you. I asked how I was going to buy a ticket on a full flight. She said "that's just how it works sometimes."

And I thought airline travel in the US was FUBAR.

So I went to GOL with my Spanish speaking friend and tried to buy a new ticket on their airline. She said that there was room. Then I asked how come there is room but that they wouldn't honor my TAM ticket when American Airlines had said that they would. She said "we just do that sometimes. We are really competitive with TAM so we don't like to do that."

We went on like this for some time, when finally, exhausted, and starting to "freaking out" again, I just said to hell with it and bought a new ticket.

After I bought the ticket, she said, "Now wait here. I have to see if your luggage will fit."

Come again?

"Yes. Your bike box is very large. I don't know if we can fit it on our plane."

I asked why we hadn't had that conversation before I purchased the ticket. She smiled and said "Don't worry."

Envisioning the city bus scenario, I wondered how much it would cost me to have my Spanish speaking Brazilian friend come with me on the city bus to help me with my luggage. Likely less than the GOL option was costing, but I had already bought the ticket, and something told me that their refund policy might be only slightly more strict than their policy of honoring fares with TAM.

She returned saying that my bicycle could fly with me. She went on to say that they weren't going to charge me for the bicycle because American had already done that. My only "win" of the day.

I did arrive in Florianopolis and more shockingly....WITH all of my luggage. So that's good.

I hate to be Chicken Little, or Eeyore, but stuff like this always seems to happen to me.

Just waiting for the other shoe to fall...................but that's what makes this life so fabulous!

Epic Ride #642

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 20:32:06 -0700

OK, I don’t really know if it was my 642nd epic ride…but what the heck.

By the numbers:

1: Number of times I cried during this ride last year.

0: Number of times I cried during the ride this year. SCORE!

3: Number of rain storms I got caught in during my ride.

1: Number of afore mentioned rainstorms that also included hail.

1938: The approximate model year of the rusted to bits VW bug I shared a car port with during said hail storm.

14: Average wind speed during my ride (confirmed by accuweather.com)

25: Gusting wind speed

0: number of times I tucked into the pace line to dodge the winds. SOLO RIDE BABY! Makes you strong! (OK, the honest truth is that no one wanted to come with me today, so I had no choice but to go solo. That’s the honest truth.)

8: Ounces of Red Bull consumed during epic ride. (I’m trying to cut back)

4: Number of wrong turns.

1: Number of angry dogs encountered.

67: Number of times I cursed my coach for imposing epic ride less than 60 minutes prior to ride time.

68: Number of times I cursed myself for telling coach about existence of epic ride loop.

6: Bottles of Infinit “Dede’s Drink” blend consumed during epic ride.

2: Times I had to pee because of afore mentioned bottles of “Dede’s Drink”.

98: Number of songs I listened to on my iPod (inside ear only, people! And reasonable volume control! Safety first!)

64: number of bugs stuck to me at end of epic ride (good day to ride with the mouth closed).

3: Number of bird sized large bugs I had high speed face and or head collisions with. OUCH.

8: Number of motorcycles I saw during epic ride.

12: Number of times I wished I was on a motorcycle.

12: Number of times I apologized to my AirFoil for wishing it was a motorcycle. ( I do love you little Airfoil!)

10: Minimum number of hours I will sleep tonight (assuming 8 ounces of Red Bull fully metabolized and out of system) in order to get ready for epic run focus day tomorrow.

Stop the World, I Wanna Get Off!

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 07:27:32 -0700

When I quit my job exactly 5 years ago to the day (happy retirement anniversary to me!), one of my biggest concerns was, "what am I going to do with all my free time??" I mean, I imagined that there were only so many hours in a day that I could train....and what to do with all the rest of the hours of the day? HA! A LOT has happened in the last 5 years, but one thing is for sure....sitting on the couch eating bon bons, watching Oprah ain't one of 'em.

It's been a whirlwind few days to say the least.

Thursday started as a blur and ended like a tornado. For starters, I had to pack for 6 week trip, including my first race.

Then, I had to drop Riley off at the vet for surgery. My furry friend has some bad teeth. As such, she now has many fewer teeth than God intended. By my tally, 10 teeth yanked in the last 3 years. Now who could imagine that a face this pretty could have teeth rotting inside? My poor girl.

Adding to Thursday's madness, I had 5 hours of training to get thru; long swim, tabatas on the bike and hill bounding, strength...... Plus, I had to pick up new hot bike. (you sexy thing)
For those who can't see fully, that'd be a 2010 Kestrel Airfoil, complete with Shimano Pro aero bars, shimano wheels, John Cobb V-Flow Plus saddle, Fuel Belt saddle bag, Shimano pedals, shoes, SRM, and best of all? Di2 group. My bike is THE BOMB. 'Nuff said.

Anywho, Brian, my mechanic was frantically building my bike on Thursday so that I could get it home, pack it and be on a plane on Friday morning. So I camped out at the shop, chipping in where I could (I took the water bottle cages off the old bike....that's about the extent of my mechanical abilities) and offered moral support.

Got home with the bike, tried to be a good wife and enjoy dinner out with my hubby, but realized I am a lousy wife....or at least not a "normal" one, but realized I also have an exceptional husband who knows his wife isn't normal. So we scrapped dinner plans out and enjoyed some snacking on odds and ends while I ran around like a crazy person, packing up.

Friday arrived too soon, and instead of enjoying breakfast with my patient husband, instead, I dragged him to the pool for some "together time" over training. Had a quick run, then it was off to the airport for an 11am flight to Philly.

I got to hang out with my Kestrel friends, Chris, and of course, Sally (aka, Steve Harad). Typical bike sponsor stuff; a trip to Lowe's for lighting for the Kestrel booth at the expo, with a quick stopover in Target for a table cloth.....pretty heady stuff. No really....you try to corral a bunch of bike guys in a big mega-plex store full of bright colors and shiny objects. NOT EASY! Then, Sally nearly had me killed making a left turn for some petrols. Crazy Pennsylvania drivers. The good news is that Sally's truck would have kicked the 4-door sedan's ass, had there been physical contact. The bad news is that my right leg might have been a small casualty of the war. Other than nearly wetting myself out of fear of being squished like a bug (sorry Sally's custom leather seats), all was well, gas was procured, and we headed off to dinner.

During dinner, Sally enjoyed a Sally-special and was the recipient of appropriate amounts of teasing, not only from me (that's a given) but from Chris, and our waiter to boot. Sorry, Sally....if the shoe fits.....Let's be honest....it screams "chick drink". Seriously....Google "Chick Drink"....you tell me what happens! <

Wonderful turnout at the Philadelphia Endurance Sports Expo. I managed to get thru my speaking gig without throwing up from nerves. People laughed politely and at the appropriate times.....of course Sally holding the "applause" sign up when cued helped some too.

Then it was off to the airport again. Flight delays, luggage delays; your staples of traveling in this day and age, and I finally made it to my homestay in Austin and was tucked in a bit past midnight.

Whew.

Rolled straight into a 5 hour training day on Sunday, 8 hours at the office on Monday. Stop the world....I want to get off!! Good times, though. No.....great times!

The Packing Ritual & Clean Water

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 08:12:28 -0700

As we head into the start of the competition season, I am struck, every year, by how hard it is to remember how to pack. Ever realize how packing for a race or a training camp takes almost as long as the race or the camp itself? The amount of crap we, as triathletes lug around the world? It’s staggering. It makes me long for the good ‘ol days of “suit, cap, goggles, towel”…...good to go. Aaaah, simpler times. Now, as a triathlete, the packing list reads like something just short of “War and Peace” and even then, you always forget something.

Well, I hereby promise to never complain again about how my luggage weighs more than I do. I got a post from an old high school friend who is preparing to climb Mt. Everest. And I thought I was nuts. Jamie and I went to high school together. We didn’t know each other really well, and had not kept in touch since high school, but thru the crazy world of Facebook, we reconnected and I’ve been fascinated with Jamie (I guess he’s “James” now)’s journey every since.

Jamie has climbed every major summit, and up next is the big one; Everest. In his most recent post, Jamie outlined what it’s like to pack to climb the world’s tallest peak and it makes my triathlon gear bag look like a wussy little fanny pack!

Here is Jamie’s post:

"I have spent the last 3 days under piles of equipment and expedition clothes making sure I have not missed anything. As I will be flying Emirates and Jet Air to Kathmandu, I know that the 31 Kilo limit will certainly be exceeded, so I have been working to ship a barrel to Kathmandu airport ...

Today it will leave--- exciting! Its a long list of things, totalling 42 Kilos and value is probably in excess of $3000.

So here is the list:
Down Jackets (2)
Down Pants (2 pair)
Dark Star -40 degree sleeping bag
Ice Axe
Crampons (2 pair)
Various ropes (prussiks, slings)
Harness
Carabiniers (5 locking gate, 3 non-lockers) Jumars (One left handed, One right handed) Thermarest Down Booties
3 insulated Nalgene Bottles (Filled with Power Bar Energy Drink Mix) Regulator & Mask from the 2005 expedition Gels & Power Bars (Power Bar & Cliff Bars)--- donated by Great Outdoor Provision Company Pack Towel Light Polypro underwear --- donated by Great Outdoor Provision Company Socks ( 8 pair thick, 5 pair wicking light layer) Fleece gloves (3 pair) Fleece Jacket Fleece Pants Goretex Top & Bottom Medium weight underwear (2 pair) Julbo Glacier Glasses (2 pair) Mittens, Hats, Balaclavas
2 Expedition Duffels
1 90 Liter Backpack
1 50 Liter Backpack
1 Basecamp tent --- donated by Great Outdoor Provision Company Solar cell--- charging batteries, cameras, and computer Stove Lantern Everest Millet Boots La Sportiva Trekking Boots One down Yeti sleeping bag -30 degrees
Electronics- Computer, Camera, Videocameras (2), Headlamps (2), GPS I will buy a base camp/ ABC Mattress in KTM ...

In total, all the equipment weight is 60 kilos...but I am only shipping 42 kilos.”

Right then. So if nothing else, I have learned that there is a sport that is more gear intensive than triathlon. That makes me feel better as I begin the packing process for my training camp which will include my first race! Leaving in a week. Tickety tock!

For more on Jamie’s progress, you can follow him at http://www.jamesdewittwilde.com/ and what’s more cool, you can support Jamie’s foundation, The Wilde Foundation which supports Global H2O, http://www.globalh2o.org/, a Clean Water Intiiative….because Jamie doesn’t have enough to worry about climbing Mt. Everest, he’s trying to use his expedition to bring clean water to the world.

Yep, I’m a slacker! Go Jamie! Be safe!!

Game vs Sport

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:58:19 -0700

So I am in the middle of a swim session this week and there is a young girl in the lane next to me. It’s rare for me to see a 15 year old swimming laps by herself when she is clearly not on a swim team, isn’t with a parent, etc. So I ask her, “Getting in a little swim workout?”

She turned to me and said plainly, “I got a really bad concussion 2 weeks ago, so I can’t do any real sports for a while.”

Like a dagger thru my heart! Swimming isn’t considered a real sport to teens today? In her mind, am I just like that old lady we used to make fun of (behind her back, of course) who used to swim laps at the Short Hills Club who had a really ugly swim suit and flowers on her swim cap? We could never figure out why she wore the swim cap because she always swam breaststroke and would never put her face, never mind her head in the water. Is that what this girl thought I was?? A “not real athlete” just swimming laps for my senior citizen fitness? Gulp.

I think she could tell that she’s wounded me, emotionally, at least. She back pedaled at bit and said “Not that swimming isn’t a real sport, I mean I can’t do physical things. Well…..I mean contact things.” I smiled, seemingly understandingly, and pushed off the wall for my last 2 x 1000 repeats, double checking my swim cap, first to make sure that it didn’t have flowers on it and a chin strap.

During my last 2 x 1000, I debated in my mind; what constitutes a “real sport”? We used to have this debate all the time in college. I think it started because we used to get our backs up over having to share the Varsity locker room with the synchronized swimmers. In our minds, I don’t think we considered them “real athletes”. Of course, this was until I got a chance to watch the San Jose Aquatics synchro swimmers in action. Those girls hold their breath for hours at a time, spinning underwater for ages and ages, and when they finally come up for air, instead of gasping and panting, they come up glistening and beaming with a smile. Any chick who can hold her breath for 20 minutes and come up smiling is an athlete in my book!

Then one night we got to debating about ping pong. Is that a “real sport”. Granted, I think there was beer involved in this conversation, but it was a valid debate. I play ping pong for fun and most people I know do the same. Oh, sure…sometimes it's beer-pong, making it slightly more “competitive” a game, but still, a game. Not a sport. Yet it’s an Olympic sport, right? Table tennis?? You say tomato, I say tomato….game or sport?

I’ve even been known to give Davey G. a hard time over his passion; golf. Game? Or sport? Sure, when Tiger takes time from his busy sex life to knock the ball around a golf course, it’s a sport, but for the other millions of us, isn’t it just a game?

Somehow, I got thru my remaining 2000 yards before I came to a conclusion, so answer me this: What makes a sport a sport? What makes a game a game? If it’s a hobby, is it a game, and if it’s more than that, does it become a sport? Is ping pong a game or a sport? If it’s a sport because there is a thing called table tennis, then what about pool? Game or sport? Fishing is considered a sport and so is hunting; there are entire cable channels dedicated to such sports - you know, man vs beast? But I am sure, somewhere in the 900 channel range on DirectTV, there is a Sewing Channel, too. But sewing isn't a sport, right? It is if you are on "Project Runway", I suppose. And what about gardening? It isn’t a sport, or is it? You always see the largest pumpkin contest at county fairs around Halloween…..so is gardening a sport?

All I know, is my 15 year old lane mate was unimpressed with swimming as a sport. That hurt a little!

Absurd?? I'll Tell You What Absurd Is....

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 13:38:21 -0700

As triathletes, we are not strangers to the absurd. Our sport, by nature is a bit….illogical, or so I am told. I suppose I can see the absurdity of it.

But here’s the thing…it’s not nearly so absurd as, say, the airline industry?

Here’s how a recent conversation between me, and my not helpful, not friendly American Airlines representative went.

I called the airline to discuss an upcoming reservation I have with them. I got the automated system which asked me, “If this is regarding an existing reservation, press 1. For new reservations, press 2”.

OK. 1. I’m with you so far.

I was then asked to put in my reservation number if I had it, which I did, so I did.

Then, my not so helpful, not so friendly American Airlines representative came on the line and mumbled her name so inaudibly, I couldn’t hear it. Clearly, she didn’t want me to know and as such, I didn’t so much care.

I went on to explain to my nameless, not so friendly, not so helpful American Airlines representative that my husband and I had booked tickets for our upcoming “triathlon free vacation” (I didn’t tell her that it was a triathlon free vacation, because why would she have cared?) and that we had booked those tickets to originate from Tampa.

We had the tickets originate in Tampa because I had intended to race Clearwater, which I am no longer intending to do, so we won’t be leaving for vacation from Tampa, we’ll be leaving from Boston which was why I was making the call in the first place.

I told her that we now needed the tickets to originate in Boston.

Then she asked for my reservation number. Yes, the one I put in at the top of the phone call. That would be the one. Trying not to be difficult, I gave it to her. Again.

After the standard airline reservation pause, she said “that will be $459”.

“That’s $459 total? For both tickets??”

“No.”

“No not $459 total?”

“No.”

“So it’s $459 per ticket?”

“Yes.”

“What if we leave on Friday or Saturday instead?”

“It will be the same.”

“The same, as in $459 per ticket?”

“Yes.”

“But you didn’t even check because right after I asked you, you just said, “it will be the same,” but it didn’t seem like you even really checked.”

No answer.

“OK, so what if we don’t fly direct? Because we don’t have to fly direct.”

“It will be the same.”

“So what you are telling me is that it is cheaper to fly from Tampa, with a layover in Dallas to San Francisco and then fly home San Francisco, Boston on a triangular fare than it is to fly round trip Boston, San Francisco by more than half?”

“Yes.”

“So the cost to change my ticket is more than the cost of the ticket itself?”

“Yes.”

“Can you explain that to me?”

“No.”

“OK, then, at least we’re in the same boat.”

“Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

“I’m not sure you’ve really helped me once so far.”

“Yes, ma’am. Will there be anything else?”

“No.”

“Thank you for calling American. Have a nice day.”

So what have we learned from this?? People think what I do for a living is absurd, but what is truly absurd is the fact that it’s cheaper for me and Davey G to purchase one-way tickets on Jet Blue to fly to Tampa, spend a night in a hotel and start our vacation from Tampa than it is to just change our departure city to a direct, round trip ticket from Boston to San Francisco.

Some day, someone will have to explain to my why what I so is absurd, but how that is totally normal.

Pet Peeve

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 16:22:44 -0700

OK. So it’s September. I am training my a** off. I am tired almost constantly, and sometimes, I get a bit cranky. It can happen to the best of us.

Today, I reached my breaking point and I just have to vent.

Ladies, it’s just got to stop. When you shower in a PUBLIC PLACE, PLEASE DON’T PULL YOUR HAIR OUT AND STICK IT TO THE SHOWER WALL! It’s gross. Truly.

I swim in several different pools around the city…and not dumpy ones either. I’ve been known to be a pool snob. I’ll admit it. I have swum enough in my day that, let’s face it….I’ve got standards. So these pools are above average, yet STILL, you women insist on behavior that is befitting …..just eeewwwww.

So please, STOP IT!

If you have clumps of hair that fall out while conditioning your hair, rinse it off your hand and let the hair run to the drain where it belongs. Or better yet, put it on the wall and take it with you when you leave.

When you are home? Decorate the walls of your home shower with all the hair you like. Go nuts for all I care. Just STOP doing it in a shower stall where I have to shower next.

I don’t need to be over-tired or cranky from a long day of training to tell you that this behavior is just plain disgusting. Bleck! STOP IT!!!

Whew. OK…I feel better now. But seriously, STOP IT!

Then....and Now

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 04:50:31 -0700

More than a few times in the last month or so, I’ve been reminded of just how far I’ve come.

A few weeks ago, I spent a weekend with my parents while Dave used our house to host a reunion with some college buddies.
While at my folks, I was sent to the basement to “deal with” some of my crap that had been there for 10 years, and before that, had been in the basement or attic of our old house in New Jersey.

In order to get to my pile of junk, I had to move this piece of junk: my first “10 speed”.

"Then"

It’s weight? Some 40+ lbs. No joke. At least half of that comes from the rat trap. Made of steal, of course, the tat trap was an ingenious invention. It held stacks of books (until you took a corner too sharply and the books flung out the side, sending your homework into the gutter (where it most often belonged anyway!). Sometimes it held my lunch too, but in the post-lunchbox era, where it was cooler to “brown bag” it, I will say that the rat trap had a tendency to smoosh my bologna and cheese sandwich (yep….on Wonder white bread with mayonnaise and often a Twinkie for dessert……what would Jesse say??!).

I loved my Schwinn. It took me to school. It took me to soccer games and softball games. It took me to swim practice in the summertime. It was my “get away” vehicle for high level games of ‘Ding Dong Ditch’. It was my cruise-mobile when I went to scope out a few cute boys houses too.

Apparently, I used to ride the nose of the Schwinn saddle quite a bit as it’s worn totally off. Thank God for John Cobb who has made an infinitely better saddle on which to ride the nose! This one didn’t look terribly comfortable.

So that was then.

But this is now……

"Now"

Just look at how far we’ve come!!

Sneak Peek!

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 14:08:11 -0700

I got to see it myself last weekend at Kestrel HQ in Philly, and believe me when I say, it looks even cooler in person. Kestrel's Steve Harad couldn't keep the smile off his face while talking about the details of the new bike and moreover, how bloody fast it tested in the wind tunnel.

Can't WAIT to mount this bad boy!!!

http://www.xtri.com/features_display.aspx?riIDReport=5740&CAT=25&xref=xx

Sorry Folks, Park's Closed

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 08:36:12 -0700

To the 4 loyal readers of my blog,

My apologies, but I had to shut down the "comments" feature on my blog. I seem to be under spam attack. I would be getting 57 comments to each blog, which is great. Problem being, only one or 2 were genuine comments. Most others were from SPAM-y sources, so to escape from the spam-a-razzi, I have disabled the comments feature from my blog.

If you wish to email me, you can still do so thru the "contact" section of my website.

Thanks, and sorry for the inconvenience!

Because Even Plan “B” Sometimes Goes Wrong

nospam@example.com (Dede Griesbauer) — Thu, 28 May 2009 10:42:05 -0700

So the saga did not end with (insert bike shop name here) and Headset Boy. Oh, no. That would have been far too simple.

I arrived in Brazil, reasonably without issue. Made my way through Sao Paulo OK. My connection to Florainapolis was on time. Easy peazy.

I unpacked my bike and on Tuesday (my first full day here), took him out for a spin. My legs, surprisingly, felt great. Though the shifting was just a wee bit off on my bike. I figured putting the race wheel on and such – just needed a tiny barrel adjustment or something.

Ken Glah staffs an amazing group with all his trips, and so since I am linked with Endurance Sports Travel for the race, I figured I would take advantage; I brought the bike to his very capable mechanics. With little worry, I went about my day and returned later in the afternoon to retrieve my bike. Johnny Lin, the mechanic whose English is far better thatn my Portuguese, explained that he did not have good news for me.

He’d adjusted the barrel. Nothing. He swapped out the cable that headset boy had installed. Nothing. Finally, and with a bit of a head scratch, he disassembled the shifter and bingo. Busted. Now a right SRAM Red TT shifter was not something that Johnny and his team had stocked in their bake-shift bike triage room here at the hotel and who would blame them (though wouldn’t that have been an easy fix).

Instead, I flew back to my room and frantically put everyone I knew into panic mode. My ever-patient husband Dave raced home and sent one to me via Fed Ex with the hope that it would make it here by Friday. I called Steve Harad from Kestrel who was minutes from boarding a plane in China for a 48 hour trip home. He immediately called his local distributor who set about a plan of his own. Meanwhile, my friends at SRAM busied themselves with trying to locate one as well.

Scramble, scramble, scramble. Meanwhile, the rest of Ken’s staff here tried to calm me and kept repeating “no worries”. In fact, my friend Gaby who has been SO helpful to me here told me, ”You look stressed. You should eat some dessert.” So I guess the core diet has done its trick as well…I look skinny…and stressed!

In the end, my wonderful support team got the job done. SRAM was able to locate one through a distributor. Ken’s mechanics went to the expo and fetched it for me and installed it and even gave the bike a onceover to make sure nothing else went awry.

Finally, I slept well last night….only to wake up and realize (gulp)…I have an Ironman on Sunday.

Thanks to a great team of sponsors and supporters. I could truly not do it without you good folks!

Meanwhile, Karen went into calming mode. She provided me with this list of suggestions for learning how to cope with the“no worries” attitudes of folks who live on Brazil time (which is so similar to Smyers time, so that’s why I sought her advice on this one) in my high-strung, type-A head. These gave me a big chuckle and so I figured I would pass them along for any of you other type-A’ers out there.
Tips for a type-A on getting by in a “no worries” admosphere:

1. Set your watch back 30 minutes--that way when you show up 5 mins early, you will really be 25 mins late which should be about right.
2. View all time schedules as suggestions rather than firm commitments..
3. Try to squeeze twice as many things in to the time available--that
way when you run over, you will end up on their schedule.
4. Never pad your time requirements for unforeseen traffic or walking
from car to destination, etc. That is conceding time you need for
other things.
5. Have a glass of wine before going places--it will take the edge
of any sense of urgency.
6. If you still have to wait despite all the tricks above, repeat the
phrase, "Like water off a duck..." until you mean it.

Good luck, type-A’ers. I think we can do it!